Hiding From HIV

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Nineteen years ago, my life changed in an instant.

At the time, I was a happy, healthy, divorced single mum of three children. I had a thriving career, was active in my community as a secondary school governor, and enjoyed a full and joyful social life. From the outside, everything looked wonderful. On the inside, I was about to face one of the most life-altering revelations of my life: I found out I was living with HIV.

The news shattered me. I didn't know what to do. I was overwhelmed with fear—not just about my health, but about what people would say. What would they think of me? Would they judge me? Would they blame me? I felt the weight of the world press down on my shoulders, and instead of reaching out, I stayed silent.

I was a woman living with HIV in a misogynistic world that too often equates a woman's worth with outdated ideas about sexuality and shame.

For ten years, I carried that fear quietly, never telling anyone. I lived in the shadows of stigma, alone with my diagnosis. I hid it because I was terrified of judgment. I was a woman living with HIV in a misogynistic world that too often equates a woman's worth with outdated ideas about sexuality and shame. I didn't want people to make assumptions about my past or my relationships. The fear of what others might think kept me imprisoned in silence.

But after a decade of hiding, something in me shifted.

I was tired—tired of being afraid, tired of carrying this secret, tired of letting shame control my life. I decided it was time to lift my head up and face my fear. I realised that the real battle wasn't just HIV—it was stigma, internalised shame, and the fear of judgment.

So I started healing.

I found a therapist and a coach. I took up yoga and learned how to reconnect with my body. I changed my diet to better nourish myself, both physically and emotionally. Slowly, I began to rebuild my relationship with myself. I started to show myself the same compassion I had always shown others. I began to love myself again.

And when I found that love for myself, the fear began to fade.

With time, I became ready to speak up. I stopped being ashamed of my status. I stopped hiding. I began talking openly about living with HIV. I started sharing my story because I knew there were others out there still suffering in silence, just like I had been.

When we stand tall in our truth, we begin to disarm ignorance.

Nineteen years ago, I never imagined that I would one day have the strength to speak openly about my status in a leading HIV magazine. But here I am.

So why do I speak out now?

Because silence is what fuels stigma. Because too many people are still living in fear. And because once we learn to love ourselves, what people say about us doesn't carry the same power to wound. When we stand tall in our truth, we begin to disarm ignorance. With organisations like The Well Project helping me to find my voice, and providing me a sense of community, I no longer need to hide from HIV.

You can read my interview in POZPlanet Magazine here: 👉 POZPlanet Magazine – May 2025 Edition.

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Louise Vallace is the Founder and CEO of Aunty Lou's House Limited, a vibrant platform dedicated to supporting individuals and challenging societal stigma.

She hosts the inspiring podcast "Aunty Lou's Hour", where she interviews people from around the world about their HIV journey. She also goes onto the streets and talks to the public directly about HIV to open up a public dialogue about about HIV.

Beyond her work in HIV awareness, Louise is an Empowerment Speaker, certified Yoga Teacher and Intersectional Coach. She is a proud neurodivergent and follows a plant based diet.

You can find out more about her work at at her website Aunty Lou's House. For more social content you can follow Aunty Lou's House on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook and LinkedIn.