The Downside to Being Open With Your Status

Submitted on May 30, 2021 by Neurodivergentdiva

Me & my rainbow baby

I've had this virus nearly 11 years now and not long after diagnosis, I made it public. I'm sure a lot of those reading can relate and understand my frustration. People can make the time to make ignorant based comments in regards to being HIV+ but won't utilize that time to educate themselves before making themselves look like morons online. I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. Since my diagnosis, I've mostly dated and had sexual relations with HIV-negative people, with them being informed beforehand about my status. Why am I still vilified for living my life? So I'm just supposed to be miserable til the day I die? Absolutely not.

The things that people say can be super harsh. I've had people tell me my diseased body killed my 2nd oldest child. She died from trisomy 18, something that completely blindsided us all, considering I was only 28 when she was born. While most of the time I'm unphased by what people say, certain things do hurt and make me question why I still fight and advocate for people living with HIV.

At the end of the day, I'm still human. But then I remember that my fight isn't mine alone to fight and I keep moving forward.

Comments

6 comments

Thank you!

Submitted by Red40something • 2 years ago

Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share and I am sorry for the loss of your child. People can be incredibly cruel and selfish. However I know the people who live with HIV and are confident enough to speak out appreciate you using your voice and being brave. Blessings!

Relate

Submitted by Babygirl44 • 2 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss.I truly can relate to the struggle of being honest always about being HIV +.I have been positive for 20 1/2 yrs.I still have my days I struggle with being strong minded.People can be so cruel.Pray for me as I will do the same for you.God has been my reason and strength..

Thank you for your post. I

Submitted by Newtothis21 • 2 years ago

Thank you for your post. I wish I was super strong like you guys are but I'm just getting use to this and I do date and tell the guys it is really hard to be judged like that and put it all in their hands. At the end of the day though I do what's right.

Strength is not measured by words!

Submitted by Red40something • 2 years ago

In my humble opinion it's measured by grace-how we do under pressure, the grace to deal with life's curveballs, how we treat ourselves and others. Don't underestimate yourself!

Thank you

Submitted by Newtothis21 • 2 years ago

Thank you for your comment. I am still here just trying to keep up with all the things I still have going on in my life. I still am dating hiv negative guys. I just try to keep letting them get to know me and hopefully at the time it's time to disclose my status they see more tha that. So far it's been ok. There are times I feel I'm more educating the people on something I'm still new to and trying to figure out. You are not alone in this sad world I'm here along with the other ladies.

Figuring it out

Submitted by Red40something • 2 years ago

HIV and all the physical and emotional stuff that comes with it can be tough to "figure out". Whew! Is there anything in particular you feel like you want or need to know? Also , have you been able to check out any of the FB lives of the AGLM series? We have some really good conversations there!

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