I Am Okay

Submitted on Jan 11, 2023 by  Healing Hope

As part of a collaboration with our longtime partner organization Christie's Place, The Well Project will be sharing stories from their book "Healing Hope: A woven tapestry of strength and solace" as blog entries on our A Girl Like Me platform. The views and opinions expressed in this project are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of The Well Project.

Anonymous written submission
Para leer en español, haga clic aquí.

When I first saw the light, I quickly learned that parents are not given a manual on "parenting skills", but were walking around with their own past generation's values and behaviors. As a child being born and raised in San Diego, I learned the hard and confused way that I was not given the right to live without pre-judgment because of my race and skin color. As an American citizen, born in the 60's, I endured a lot of racial injustice. I never understood why I was always referred to as a "wet back, beaner" and told to "go back to Mexico".

Also and during my childhood and teenage years, I endured a lot of physical and emotional abuse from my mother and older brother, unfortunately. Venturing out into the world with all the scars and pain I was carrying, and not given the tools I needed to make wise choices, I ended up marrying a very abusive man, both physically and emotionally.

After 6 years of so much pain and abuse, I decided to leave him. I vividly recall the night and one of the many times of abuse. At 2 am, I found my 5-year-old daughter out in the middle of the street, screaming for someone for help. It was at that moment that I had had enough and finally decided to get into my car and, along with my children, drive off, promising myself to never look back. I am by no means expecting sympathy from anyone, but letting you know, and without walking the same path together, you and I have a lot in common.


Illustration of two women, one with a fist in the air, the other with her hand on the first woman's shoulder.

Illustration by Lena Gacek

With the father of my children refusing to give me child support, I was always worried how I was going to pay my bills and place food on my table. It was then that I decided to study cosmetology, I was able to graduate as a certified Cosmetologist. I was not happy with this schooling that I chose to go to college and had the honor of graduating with an Associates in "Administration of Justice". Even after graduating I felt that this was not enough to live a financially stable future, that I decided to continue with my studies. I started my schooling at San Diego State University, and after 4 years, I had the honor once again, graduating with a Bachelor's degree as a major in "Criminal Justice" and a minor in "Sociology". I worked in the field of Corrections and the Court system.

I am presently celebrating 30 years with HIV. It was through the help of Christie's Place that I received the counseling, therapy and support system that has allowed me to become the woman that I was deserving to be. There are and will still be challenges that I have to work on, and on a daily basis. I have come to the conclusion that we are all warriors and survivors, and it is through the mutual support we can give each other and one day at a time, that I am learning to love myself. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

Submitted by Marig2016

WOW ! I loved this! First of all the courage and strength to leave and not look back *HAND CLAP EMOJIS* but to want better and strive for that greatness no matter what. A true story of overcoming and thriving! Thank you for sharing. <3


Submitted by Red40something

It takes courage to step out and move for change and you have done it several times. I don't know you, but I feel proud for you and encouraged by your story!  Blessings and light. 

Submitted by PDEES




I admire your courage and strength to walk away from the abuse and a relationship that was so unhealthy for you. I know that a lot of folks struggle to find that courage and are afraid to let go for many reasons. I am so inspired and proud of you for how far you have come on your journey. You are definitely a warrior Queen.

I read this post that said “Too many people spend their lives being dutiful descendants instead of good ancestors.”

The responsibility of each generation is not to please our predecessors. It is to improve things for our offspring and that is what your story reminds of ❤️‍?✨??‍♀️


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