My 33rd birthday just passed on December 5th, 2019 and I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I can’t believe how much my mindset has changed. I am HIV +, I am Black, and I am a woman (a triple threat). So just imagine all of the intersectionalities that I have had to overcome while trying to figure out where I fit in and find my way in this world. The difficulties I have experienced in regards to living with HIV have overpowered them all, and have definitely been the hardest to deal with.
Looking back on all the messages, and all the love I received on my birthday, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so grateful for all the words of encouragement, and the support that I received from my community, friends, family, and loved ones. It was proof to me that you all are listening, that you guys are feeling me, and it was definitely motivation for me to keep going.
Man, it has definitely taken a lot for me to get to the point where I am at today, mentally. I watched my mom pass away from AIDS-related illnesses. All the negative talk I have been subjected to really took a toll on the way that I felt internally. It still presently affects me; I am still putting in a lot of self-work to heal from everything I been through… It’s a process.
I have had people come and tell me that a “friend” told them I had that “nasty girl’s disease”. I have had “friends” tell me that HIV will never be seen as something positive. I have had lovers come back and tell me that people asked them, “Why are you dating her? What if you get HIV? You can die."
All I can say to that, right now, in this moment, is that I am so very proud and grateful. I thank GOD every day for the extreme amount of grace that has been shown to me in my very unique experience here on earth. I thank GOD for changing my mind and cleaning my heart. I thank GOD for keeping me here, and blessing me with 33 years of life thus far. I am extremely blessed, and I recognize that now. I am a woman of my word, and as promised I will continue to keep my promise. I will continue to show them your vision.
"A QUEEN on her throne is a woman who has mastered herself. She is not perfect, but she is complete. She has come to the full realization that everything she needs to fulfill her mission can be found within! She has uncovered her powers and she knows how to use them. She’s no longer on the path, she has become the path.” –Molesey Crawford
People can only break you if you let them. A QUEEN knows how to build her empire with the same stones that were thrown at her.